Chapter 4

It had been three weeks since she’d seen Arnav and it was the wedding week. All the ceremonies were taking place. The roka, sangeet and mehendi had already taken place and there were two days left before the wedding and Khushi was supposed to be excited about one of the biggest days in her life yet she didn’t feel anything. She felt empty inside because she was only doing it for her family and wasn’t going to get anything out of this marriage. For Rohan it might be a dream come true but for her it was going to be a lifetime of misery knowing that she loved someone with all her heart yet married her friend for her family. How she wished she could have seen him one last time, held him, touched him and she would have lived with that memory forever.

                      

Arnav hadn’t gone back to Khushi’s house despite the many invitations from her family and fiancée. Kajal had been bouncing between Khushi’s house and the office spending most of her time at the house with all the orders. Kajal had called him up to inform him that she’d be at Khushi’s house until late so she’d need a ride home and naturally Arnav would go to fetch his best friend and as planned he would wait for her outside in the car but then again when do things ever go as planned when it comes to matters of the heart. Arnav was sitting in his car outside Khushi’s house when his phone rang. “Arnav.......” he heard Kajal say in the tone he knew that always meant she wanted something. He rolled his eyes and sighed, “Yes Ma’am. How can I be of service?” Kajal flinched at the response knowing he wasn’t too happy but then again what did she care. She was his best friend and she could make him do anything she wanted. “I need some help so you have to come inside. And make it snappy. I don’t have all evening,” she said with a smug grin on her face. Arnav hopped out of his car and sighed in defeat. There were very few people who could have their way with him and Kajal was one of them. He walked into the house to find Kajal hidden behind all the clothes she was carrying. “Need some help?” he asked with a soft laugh. “No,” Kajal growled, “I just need my sketch book and my bag. Please?” she asked sweetly. Arnav shook his head and walked towards the lounge and realising he forgot to ask her where it was turned back but she seemed to have disappeared. He looked around the lounge and couldn’t find it. He turned to go back to ask Kajal where she had left it when he bumped into Rohan. “Hi,” Rohan said cheerfully holding out his hand, “Arnav? Right?” Arnav shook his hand, “Yeah.” Rohan had noticed that Arnav had been looking for something for a while that’s when he came over. “You’re looking for something,” he said, “maybe I can help.” Arnav smiled at him, “Yes, I am. Kajal said her sketchbook and bag were here but i don’t think they are.” Rohan sighed. In the few weeks Kajal had been there he had gotten to know her quite well, “You’re right. It’s not. She left them upstairs in the room when the Haldi was on. It’s the room at the end of the passage. The last door.” Arnav reminded of the haldi noticed that Rohan was covered in yellow. Arnav gave a small laugh, “Thanks.”

 

Arnav walked up the staircase and down the passage. He had a weird feeling but brushed it off and walked into the room. He scanned the room and found Kajal’s stuff on the table by the sofa. He picked it up and turned around to head back towards the door when he thought he saw something familiar. He turned around and looked at the huge wall that should have been empty. His eyes were wide with shock and he dropped everything he was carrying. He couldn’t believe what he saw. It was almost as if it wasn’t real. He closed his eyes and opened them again but it was still there. “How?” he whispered. He felt a hand on his shoulder and spun around. There she was standing in front him. So close. He looked into her eyes asking a thousand questions to which she only gave one answer. “Because I love you,” she whispered. She took his hand in hers and led him to the bed where they sat down. He looked from her to the photo and back to her unable to make sense of anything. She cupped his face with her tiny hands making him look at her. “I know you told me to forget you when you left. You told me to move on but how could I Arnav? You know what you meant to me and how much I love you. You were everything to me. My life felt empty without you. After the first two months I couldn’t take it. I hadn’t seen you and it was killing me. That’s why I put up the photo. So I could see you even though you weren’t with me,” Khushi could fell the tears rolling down her cheeks. Arnav felt something stab at his heart. How could he have even thought of hating her. He knew he never really could and that’s why he isolated himself from everyone and everything but listening to what she said how could he stop himself from loving her knowing there was only a day left before she became someone elses. He took her hands in his and noticed she wasn’t wearing her roka or engagement ring. Khushi looked at him and he immediately understood. She didn’t have to say anything. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him hugging her tight, Khushi having no bounds to her happiness reciprocated. “I thought you’d forget me, move on with your life. For the sake of your family, for the sake of others,” Arnav said his voice hoarse. “How could I, you were and still are the only person that will stay in my heart,” she replied through her tears. They pulled away from each other very reluctantly. Arnav had one last good look at Khushi before reality hit him and he turned back into ASR – the person he had become because of Khushi – he shot up from the bed and stepped far away from her.

 

Khushi was taken by surprise at what Arnav had done. The Arnav she knew would never walk away from her. She got up and walked towards him but with every step she took closer to him he took two steps further away from her. “Arnav,” Khushi whispered, dejection clear in her voice. “I’m sorry Khushi but this is wrong. We can’t do this... You’re getting married tomorrow for crying out loud. You shouldn’t even want to see me. You shouldn’t be thinking about me anymore,” Arnav shouted. “I know I’m not supposed to but I can’t help it Arnav! What do you want me to do?” Khushi yelled, “Wake up tomorrow morning and tell everyone that I can’t marry Rohan because I’ve been in love with Arnav Singh Raizada for three years! Hearing what she said Arnav looked up at her, answering her question without saying a word. She shook her head mumbling “no” to herself. No matter how much she wanted to she couldn’t. It would break her family, especially her father and she couldn’t risk hurting him. Arnav, by now had moved closer to Khushi, “If I was at your wedding would you let me stand and watch you give yourself away to someone else? Would you make me watch him apply sindoor? Would you make me watch himm tie a mangalsutra around your neck? Would you make me watch while you took the pheres with him? Would you Khushi?” he asked. She could see the pain in his eyes when he had asked her. She wanted to say no to everything but her hands were tied. She was helpless. It was too late now. He could see it in her eyes. She wouldn’t have, she’d have never done that to him and he knew she was helpless yet still he felt his heart shatter into a thousand pieces. He wanted to take her and run far away where no one would ever find them but he of all people knew how important family was and just as he would do anything for the sake of his family he understood she would for hers. How many more tests did god want to put them through? How much did he think they could endure without breaking? How far would he push them? How much longer would he test their love? No longer. Not saying anything more Arnav picked up Kajal’s stuff off the floor and walked away. Not as Arnav but as ASR. The one who wouldn’t care, the one who nothing mattered to, the one who didn’t know a girl named Khushi Kumari Gupta.

Chapter 3

“Thank you,” Khushi said barely audible. She was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that the very person she loved, the person she wanted to marry was standing in front of her congratulating her on her marriage. They looked at each, not breaking their gaze for even a second as if it hadn’t been two years but rather two centuries since they’d seen each other. A small smile crept to Khushi’s lips as she noticed how Arnav hadn’t changed one bit. He still had his all-to-famous stubble that he loved, his hair a medium length – not too short and not too long - just the way she liked it and his three piece suit, of which he would most likely ditch the coat and tie by the end of the day. “Khushi,” Rohan said as he walked up next to her sliding an arm around her waist. Khushi saw Arnav’s eyes move from hers to Rohan’s hand before he stepped back and made his way over to Kajal. Khushi turned to Rohan and gave him a small smile. “Kajal will take your measurements and show you some designs in their bridal collection and if you don’t like any of them then you can give her your own design. Okay?” Rohan asked her. Khushi just nodded her head in response and turned to Kajal, “My room is upstairs. We can do it there,” she said softly. “Sure. Wherever suits you,” Kajal said as she followed Khushi upstairs. She turned to look at Arnav when she reached the bottom of the stairs and he nodded telling her that he’d be alright even though Kajal knew he wouldn’t be.

 

Khushi’s mother, sister and fiancée were taken aback with Khushi taking Kajal upstairs to her room considering the fact that she doesn’t let anyone besides Aditya in. They all stood pondering for a few seconds until they heard Shashi Gupta speaking to Arnav. They left the two assuming they were speaking business as men usually do and all got back to their own work. Arnav and Shashi chatted for a while about AR and how the businesses were doing until one his questions caught Arnav by surprise. “I’m sorry,” Arnav said politely, “I didn’t hear you.” Shashi smiled at Arnav almost as if he had expected the reaction from Arnav Singh Raizada. I mean it’s not like he was the most eligible bachelor in Delhi and girls were lining up to marry him. That’s just ridiculous. “I asked if you’re married,” Shashi said with a light laugh. “Oh,” Arnav said flatly, “No i’m not and no girlfriend or fiancée either. Just in case you ask.” Shashi Gupta had a good laugh at Arnav’s response and patted him on the back. “Thank you for the clarification Arnav,” Shashi said before looking at his watch. “I’m sorry to leave you like this. I’d love to stay longer but unfortunately I have a meeting to attend. I’m sure you can understand,” he said to Arnav as he got up and grabbed his briefcase off the table in front of them. “It’s no problem at all Mr Gupta. Nice meeting you,” Arnav said as he shook his hand before Shashi walked towards the door. Arnav sunk down into the couch and closed his eyes. Images of Khushi flooded through his mind.

Khushi led Kajal up to her room and waited for her to come in before she closed the door. Kajal walked over to the coffee table and couch in front of the French windows in Khushi’s room and put down her bag. She looked around the room admiring the designs and colour schemes and glancing at the wall behind her assuming it would be empty and turned to her bag to take out her sketch book when she froze midway as realization hit her. She stood up and turned around to look at the wall. She couldn’t believe what she saw. A life size photo frame of Arnav and Khushi at her 21^st birthday party two and a half years ago. She’s never forget because they’d given her a surprise party and had done one of the most beautiful, romantic dances she’d ever seen.

 

 

 

 

 She turned to look at Khushi, who was now sitting on the edge of her be, with wide eyes. “Khushi...” Kajal trailed off. Khushi looked up to meet Kajal’s gaze, her eyes full of regret and pain. Kajal walked towards Khushi when she saw the tears that were about to start flowing. She sat next to her on the bed and put her arms around Khushi, Khushi resting her head on Kajal’s shoulder not even trying to stop her tears. “It’s all my fault. He was right. It did make a difference. If I just listened to him that once he’d be here with me right now. He told me to forget him, that it was better for everyone that way. After three months of not seeing him I couldn’t bear it so I put up the photo knowing at least that way I’ll get a glimpse of him everyday,” Khushi poured her heart out. Kajal patted her hair, “But Khushi, how could you put that up with no one else seeing it? What about Garima aunty, Payal, Shashi uncle and ROHAN?! Has he...” Kajal trailed off scared at the thought of what Rohan might have done had he seen the huge, no enormous, photograph. Khushi sat up and put a reassuring hand on Kajal’s shoulder, “I don’t let anyone other than Adi in here because he knows about Arnav.” Khushi stood up walked towards the wall from which the photo hung. She looked at the picture lost in thought, “I’d never let Rohan see it or get to know anything about it because if he finds out this is the reason he’ll blame Arnav for it and god knows what he’ll do. If Arnav gets hurt I’ll never be able to forgive myself.” Kajal had now moved from the bed to the couch behind Khushi. “Whatever happened, happened Khushi. We can’t go back and change the past and nor is it wise to live a life of regret,” Kajal said trying to comfort Khushi, “the best we can do is just forget what’s happened and move on.” Khushi spun around to face Kajal, “How? How can I forget the person that I love so much, the only person I have ever loved and ever will. He’s the only thing that’s stopping me from marrying Rohan because I know that it shouldn’t be him. It should be Arnav. It should be Arnav down there with my family while I’m getting my wedding outfit designed. Do you have any idea what it’s like? Any idea of the pain I go through everyday knowing that all of this is only happening because of me.” Khushi dropped to the floor in her knees and buried her face in her hands. Kajal knelt down beside Khushi comforting her, “Don’t kill yourself over it and bury yourself in pain. It’ll only make things worse trust me. I know. I’ve had my share of heartbreaks and it’s not something you want to live with for the rest of your life.” She helped Khushi up and walked her to the bathroom door and waited for her while she cleaned herself up. “Trust me Khushi. I’ve seen him live in pain for two years. He won’t tell anyone or show it but I can see him hurting,” Kajal whispered. Khushi gave her a small smile when she opened the door,“Shall we go downstairs? Everyone is probably waiting for us.”  Kajal nodded in response and they both headed downstairs.

 

Arnav, Rohan and the rest of the family were waiting for them when they came downstairs. Khushi put on a happy face for her family and fiancée but her father could see right through her even if no one else could. He could see it was just an act to make everyone happy. “Have you decided what you want Khushi?” Rohan asked a little too eagerly. Khushi to Kajal as if asking her for help. “She’s the bride. Of course it will take time for her to perfect what she wants. That’s why I’ve left the catalogues and sketch book here for her to play around with designs and I’ll be back tomorrow to go through it with her,” Kajal said smugly. “And there’s no need to be so eager about what she’s wearing because you’re next so I’d get cracking on thinking of what I’m wearing,” she added before turning to Arnav. “Shall we?” he asked Kajal. She smiled in return. “It was a pleasure meeting everyone. I’ll send Kajal with a few assistants for the rest of the week because I assume everyone would want to get their clothes made before the wedding. Enjoy the rest of your day,” Arnav said politely before leaving the two families. Shashi Gupta looked from his daughter to Arnav Singh Raizada and noticed how Arnav had not even looked towards Khushi whereas his daughter had been looking at Arnav the entire time she had been downstairs.

 

That night there were two hearts that in turmoil. Neither could sleep nor think about anything other than the person they had seen earlier that day. Arnav tossed and turned in his bed unable to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes only one image flashed in front of his eyes – Rohan with his arm around Khushi. After two years of her memories haunting him, Arnav had turned off his emotions. Not being able to feel anything made it easier. It made it easier not to care but still... it wasn’t as if he had a humanity switch that he could turn off. If he could stop feeling completely, what Rohan did wouldn’t have affected him as much as it did. He would never be able to forget Khushi no matter how hard he tried and he knew that. He knew she belonged to someone else now but the fact that she wasn’t married rekindled hope in Arnav that maybe, just maybe she might not have forgotten him and maybe she too wants to be with him.

 

Khushi on the other hand didn’t even attempt to sleep. She was sitting in bed thinking about what had happened that day. The chances of her seeing him again after what happened two years ago was next to impossible yet it happened. The thought of seeing Arnav again brought a huge smile to Khushi’s face. She couldn’t help but feel joy for the one person she lives for. She also felt lighter, like a burden had been lifted. It was good that Kajal had seen the picture because it made Khushi feel better. At least know she knew she didn’t have to burden Adi with her woes because there was someone else that knew. She was so happy to have finally seen him after so long that sleep couldn’t find her yet on the other hand there were a million questions running through her mind. Was he married? Did he have someone in his life? Were they serious? How long had they been together? But none of that mattered. Even if there wasn’t anyone she was engaged to Rohan and they were getting married. Nothing could change that. Khushi put her head down on her pillow lost in thought of could have been and what is.